Toyota Cleared of All Wrong Doing
Top officials at Toyota Motor Corporation are elated today after the release of an independent study which absolves Toyota of all responsibility for the defective gas pedal recall which began in 2010.
The company’s CEO, Akio Toyoda was ecstatic. ” This is not just a great day for Toyota, but for the whole worldwide car industry.”
” It has been proven today, that not only does Toyota make the safest cars available, but it’s high standards have raised the bar for other manufacturer’s to achieve greatness.”
The 1 year independent investigation sanctioned by Toyota was conducted by German Car Engineer Hienz Fritzel.
” In reviewing all the evidence involved it became very apparent to our investigation team that the result was slanted and Toyota was being used as a scapegoat in this case” states Fritzel.
Fritzel not only uncovered more stuck gas pedal cases in Toyota, but found numerous incidents for all car manufacturers which were never reported.
” The initial investigators had tunnel vision and kept looking at the accelerator as the problem”, Fritzel is quoted as saying.
‘The actual culprit was staring them straight in the face.
Fritzels’ team unveiled the fact that 100% of the time, the driver was wearing a pair of used Reebok Pump Series Sneakers.
Test after test proved that when the sneaker was at a 47.5 degree angle the Air Pump would automatically engage building enough pressure to lock the foot in that position and cut off enough circulation so the driver actually believed he was removing his foot from the gas pedal, when in fact he had no use of the leg whatsoever.
“There was a serious defect in the Sneaker Air Pump which would cause it to engage at the proper angle and with significant resistance from the gas pedal.” says Fritzel.
” In normal everyday use, the sneaker would perform according to manufacturer’s specifications.”
When contacted by The Daily Spoof , Reebok stated that they will launch there own official investigation as they believe the pump is being triggered by a a faulty sock.
